This is my we called Life

everything happen for the reason. But i don't know whether the reason is acceptable or not because in short term i do not see any advantage from this "incident". only disadvantage because i will losing someone that i really admire for the 11 years.

Now i do not know how to describe my feeling..Happy or sad. Maybe im happy because i do not need to stick anymore to the past memories and try to build a new memorable memories. But at the same time its hurting me so much because i loose someone that i really really need..there have a pro and con.

As a human we need to accept the qada & qadar. Losing him doesnt mean your life also destroy. Think positive, maybe this is a challenge and the opportunity for me to find someone better. Find someone that able to guide me to the right way..Help me to forget the sadness and frustrated..Amin

-hardest thing to believe-

you're engaged..

so it is true right..i was heard this "good" news last year but i was thought it is just a rumors..i always keep asking people around me because i want to know the truth. Finally the truth was revealed last a few days..i believe it because it is a words from your childhood friend..whether i like or not i need to believe..

For the first time in my life i feel very disapointed, stressful and painful..i cant face the reality because its too hurt.. im not strong enough to face and accept the truth..everytime people told me about you. im always deny it..because my hope and my faith always be there with you.. hoping one day u u'll aware and feel my sincerity but finally in the end i gain nothing..

God i really need ur guidance and ur blessing to get him back.. i didt want to make any bad wishes and ruin their happiness but im really want him..i am willing to do anything as long as he will stay beside me forever n ever..im not good enough to let u go without doing anything..

he engaged but i dont know with who, what time and next planning for the wedding..i felt useless because i did not have any information..I know that im not good enough in investigation especially when it is related with him...But i must to figure out.. This is the awkward moments when you waiting for him for the 11 years but then he turn out to another girl..very disappointed right..

quote from love stories " when people are meant to be together, no matter what the relationship, God will always find a way to bring them together no matter how far apart" i hope it's referring to my relationship..i still feel the bound between us but i cannot pull it to become more closer ..but im always afraid if this bound will break in the middle of our conjuction to improving the relationship.. =)